It’s certainly not an easy time to be the parent of a pre-teen when it comes to social media and the worrisome effects it can have on your child. It’s a critical time when children are still developing emotionally and what they see online can often be confusing or scary.
What most people don’t realize is the direct and harmful effect social media can have on children. The press is full of new studies covering how frequent online usage can correlate with decreased critical thinking skills, increased loneliness and even children becoming addicted to their phones.
There is a reason that the four part series “Adolescence” skyrocketed to number 4 on Netflix’s global list of most watched shows of all time. It provides a stark look into online bullying and how even the best parents can be left clueless and feeling helpless by its ill effects. There is a large amount of online commentary that supports how this is a critical “must-see” for parents and caretakers. Fortunately it is adding to a growing movement by both the government and schools to find better ways to protect kids and teens online. For instance, Congress recently passed a critical act requiring online platforms to remove all kinds of “deepfake” images and can include jail time for those who knowingly share those images.
What Can You Do?
Open and Honest Communication
The number one thing you can do is talk to your child on a regular basis. Conversations don’t have to be explicitly about what they are seeing and reading on social media, but reinforcing that you are available to talk and won’t judge is critical. There are countless examples of children who are approached online by a stranger, but the child was too afraid to tell their parents. These don’t have to be formal conversations. They can be woven into banter at the dinner table, car rides to sports practices or any place where you feel your child can be open to sharing about their day.
Screen and Phone time
Parents are sometimes caught in the middle of worrying about what other parents are allowing when it comes to screen and phone time, but it’s up to you to determine the right balance for your own child. Believe it or not, children are usually relieved when they have rules to abide by. Some of the best things you can do is not allow your child to take their phone to bed with them (or establish a limited time and then they have to hand over their phone). You can also start at a young age to limit the amount of screen time on their phone or playing games. Some parents also put a rule in place that for any time spent on a screen, there must be just as much time spent reading.
School and Friends
It’s a fact that children are being given phones at a much earlier age. This doesn’t always mean they are mature enough and ready to process the responsibility that comes with it. As a parent, it’s critical to stay plugged in with what is going on at school and your child’s friends since drama can easily take place in a group friend chat. Don’t hesitate to reach out to other parents and start a dialogue or check in once in a while to compare notes and hear what they have been experiencing. Become familiar with your school’s policy on phones, bullying and other related topics and routinely review them with your child. Find out if your school is considering a ban on phones in school and provide your support.
The Bottom Line
There are no easy answers. But the bottom line is that young children need to feel they are confident and loved. This goes a long way in blunting anything inappropriate they may see online, especially instances where they may not even be old enough to understand what they are seeing. Keep the lines of communication open and make sure your child knows they won’t be punished if they come to you with concerns.
At Suffolk Counseling Services, we work with both parents and children who may need emotional support after experiencing online trauma. Our mental health providers are down to earth, intelligent and well versed with addressing the ill effects of social media. If you are concerned about your child’s wellbeing, please contact us today to make an appointment at one of our three convenient locations. We are always here to help you and find the best course of action.
